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  • Date :
  • 5/13/2007

The Effect of Command and Prohibition Children

prohibition children

Being a ware of three important sections aspects of a person"s personality

Mind, parent, wisdom and child will be of great help for us; parents that           

of great help for us, parents that are more familiar to these three aspects

of personality mind are more successful in training children and bringing

up logical, self- reliant and effective individuals. Parents who know the

parent section of Personality, will definitely pay more attention to their

behavior towards each other and will avoid quarrelling, bickering and

shocking behaviors when their children are present.

The information kept in parent section will be recorded directly and

without interference of the child"s Will, his vital need to parents and his

incapability in understanding and comprehending concepts in this period

make matters worse, since he cannot find the right way to change their

behavior. Likewise he cannot find any explanation for his parents"

behavior. Therefore when parents are belligerent and quarrelsome

towards each other, much fear and phobia will be recorded in the Parent

section of the child"s mind so the parent section of the child will be full of

the fear that his Parents hurt each other, the child is unable to recognize

that in such cases, for instance, the father is entangled in an acute

financial and economical problem or the mother, because of a dispute

with her partner, neighbor or one of the relatives has become very

nervous and quarrelsome. The child has not the ability for such analysis

and only sees and understands the risky situation of his parents" quarrel.

In the parent section of human personality pieces of advice, rules,

warnings, rejections, do"s and don"ts, and the like are kept. On the other 

hand, kindness, gently touch, hugs, 1aughter, the sweet voice of mother"s

laughing and father"s smiling face are also recorded. It should not be

forgotten that this recording system is constantly on. Certainly all these

memories can be imprinted on child"s mind.

The recoding system is on unless the child, in order to Protect himself,

will instinctively turn it off in some cases and does not listen to what his

parents say and even does not look at them, this is the time he had

realized many contradictions, The father who says smoking is detrimental

to good health but he does not practice what he preaches, or the mother

constantly tells lies while reproaching others for doing so. Therefore the

child who does not have the right to ask about these contradictions will be

distressed; he, therefore, prefers to turn off the parent recording system

even for a while to rid himself of these dilemmas.

The fact that a person"s parent is unique to him indicates that each person

has felt this need in the early five years of his life and the recorded

information is the indicator of person"s early experienced with his parents

which is peculiar to him and hence unique.

In the next stage, there are warnings and false notices among which the

following which the following sentences are common practice, wastage is

a mortal sin, never trust anybody, a good child must be obedient and

submissive  and  such things. These issues are the mere truth regardless of

being good  or  bad, these orders should be obeyed since adults who are

the source of safety have issued them. At the same time, the child has

little or no choice, he is to obey and most of the time unwillingly. These

are set of permanent recordings that nobody can delete them, they always

exist and ready to be played on.

But a considerable amount of this parent section information is

manifested as ""how to"" for example, how to walk, how to walk, how to

sit, how to cut nails, how to make bed, how to entertain guests, etc. This

""how to"" factor contains a large amount of parent section in formation

that is acquired through observing parent"s behavior and it is usually

advantageous because they cause that skills the child needs in his daily

1ife be generated and learned. Considering fact that a great number of

such rules are recorded in the brain of every growing child and most of

these orders are limited in the forms of ""never"", ""ever"", ""always"", these

rules and orders often become the source of habits that change into

compulsory and natural behaviors, faults and abnormalities that manifest

themselves in interaction and communication between child and his


Besides parents, there are other sources for acquiring parent information

such as TV; the child who gazes at TV, not being controlled by parents, and Probably watches harsh scenes in an action film, conceives the world in this way and tells himself: yes!

This is the world and the life. What aggravates the situation is parent"s not

channel or occasionally accompany the child in watching the film;

therefore he would come to the conclusion that he should be harsh. What

makes matters worse is when the child is listening to subjects raised by

parents, relatives or programs on TV regardless of his age and therefore

quite inappropriate; all these will be recorded in the child"s parent section.

It is the case when the child find himself in situations or circumstances

where he is confused about what his parents are doing about which he is

not allowed to ask or talk openly; at this time he records and saves them

till the time he can recollect and delve into them.

If we are aware of the importance of parent recording and believe that the

main base is founded in the early five years of life, we will definitely

notice delicate points that we are bound to observe in our relationship

before the very eye of our child. When we take for granted that parent

recording systems are always on, then it is not wise to issue every order

when we do not observe them; if there is any difference of opinion

between you and your spouse, do not quarrel with each other in the

child"s Presence and do not forget that the child opens his eyes to this

world feeling insecure. He has come from the safe and suitable world of

the womb in which all his needs were satisfied and they are parents that

change this feeling of insecurity to that of safety and security. Many

specialists of behavioral sciences believe that the base of each person"s

personality is established in the early years of his life under the influence

of parents and environment. In all the pivotal role of parents in the

personality shaping of their children is undeniable.

By: Mahmud Hendipour

Translated by Ali Arabmofrad

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