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  • 10/21/2013

Overlooking Trivial Issues

forgive & forget

Forgiving is one of the most important elements in a family life. At the same time overlooking trivial issue is also important for it consolidates the ties among family members.

About the importance of forgetting or overlooking trivial issues in family relations, Imam Ali (PBUH) says:

“One who does not overlook trivial issues in his life, will have a troublesome life.”‌[1]

“There is no foresight like ‘pretending to be unaware’ and no patience like ‘pretending to have forgotten [wrongdoings of others].”‌[2]

“The most honest characteristic of a great person is generosity to overlook what he knows [about others’ wrongdoings].”‌[3]

One of the family problems is not forgetting little issues, flaunting the mistakes of others and being unforgiving which causes great family problems.

Forgiving and more importantly forgetting, which are the fruits of controlling one’s anger, are essential elements of a family environment.

Happy family requires these honest behaviors and good attributes. Anger and disputes, focusing on trivial issues, and stubbornness on the other hand devastate foundations of family.[4]

Patience and forgetting are essential elements of an ideal life. Those lacking these attributes are in fact parochial in their approach who are sensitive to everything others say or do but broadminded people are patient as well as forgetting.

Remember these ethical recommendations on the principle of “forgiving and forgetting”‌ in life:

We need great energy for a healthy life so it is not rational to spend our energy on trivial issues.  

Most people spend most of their energy on trivial issues so they miss the beauty of life.

Family life is full of opportunities to aggrandize trivial issues or to underestimate great issues. Intelligent people take the second path to prevent unnecessary problems.

Respecting the principle of “forgiving and forgetting”‌ makes our life admirable since people with any problem may feel honorable before us and this increases the number of our admirers[5] as Imam Ali (PBUH) says: “forget so your act become admirable.[6]

Translated by: Sadroddin Musawi


[1] Reishahri, Mizan al-Hekma, tradition 15220

[2] Gherar al-Hekam, p. 53, tradition 432; Reishahri, Mizan al-Hekma, vol. 7, p. 268

[3] Gherar al-Hekam, p. 451, tradition 10370

[4] Ansarian, Hussein, Family System in Islam, p. 247-9

[5] Nilipour, Mehdi, Family Management, vol.2, p. 37-8

[6] Reishahri, Mizan al-Hekma, tradition 15216

Other links:

Don’t take a decision at the time of anger

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