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  • 6/11/2011

How to Deal With a Second Marriage

second-marriage

A second marriage is a big transition for both families that are involved. Not only that, but it can have a strong emotional impact on the kids and the parents as well. If handled correctly, creating a successful second marriage is possible. Follow these steps to ensure that your second marriage is a smooth transition that encourages everybody to work together.

 

Difficulty: Moderately

 

Challenging Instructions

 

1

Recognize the reasons for your first marriage failing. Take an honest look at your previous marriage and determine if there were some things you could have done better. Of course, sometimes a marriage fails solely because of the other person, but taking a realistic view will help you prepare for your new relationship.

2

Move on from your failed marriage. The single most important thing you can do to create a successful second marriage is to stop thinking about your first marriage and to stop comparing your new spouse to the first one. Focus on your new marriage and making it a success.

3

Discuss your finances with your new spouse before getting married. Disagreeing over money is one of the most common reasons for failed marriages. Coming to an agreement before tying the knot is helpful when financial problems arise.

4

Deal effectively with the first spouse. If they are deceased, respect their memory while still moving on with your own life. If the first marriage resulted in divorce, make an effort to have a civil relationship with them for the sake of others.

 

Tips & Warnings

If your kids are uncomfortable with the new relationship, ask your ex-spouse to talk to them, too. Showing that they are comfortable with your new relationship can make the kids feel better about it as well.

Don't carry your anger or animosity against your ex-spouse into your second marriage. You will likely see each other again, especially if you have kids together. Nobody says you have to be friends, but at least be nice to each other.

Don't compare your new spouse to your previous spouse. This is not only unfair, but it will likely lead to a failed second marriage rather than a successful one.


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