Parvin Etesmai in Her Own Words (Sizdah Be dar)-2

My mother had permitted me on the day of sizdahbedar to pour water into my small brass samovar, put it on the table of Sizdahbedar and play. My mother didn't know that I play with my shadow when I am alone. I always played with my shadow, considering it as my aunt. If she had come to know, she would have definitely quarreled with me, for my mother believed that if somebody played with her shadow, she wouldn't be mentally sound and would eventually land in the madhouse.

Me and my shadow wanted to throng a very good party. I didn't like those few dark, adamant, bad clouds to disturb our small party through their drizzle. Just like many other days, the guests would pour into our house and my father’s friends would come to our house. My father’s parties were larger than that of mine and my shadow. My mother was saying that the parties of that day would include eight to ten people. We had prepared vegetable stew and vegetable polo with fish for lunch. The smell of vegetable stew and fish spilled over to the rooms from the kitchen. The guests hadn't come yet. There was enough time until noon. I wished I could be alone; the guest of myself and my shadow. I wasn't in a mood to bear hosting elderly guests. But I didn’t mind seeing one of the guests of that day. I liked his voice and even liked his heel’s sound.

Translated by: Sadroddin Musawi

Other links:

Parvin and Bahar on Sizdah Bedar

Parvin Etesami’s Autobiography

The Solitary Girl -1