Principles of Marriage - Principles of Marriage [Electronic resources] نسخه متنی

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Principles of Marriage



Family Ethics






The human society is comprised of families. Islam attaches great importance to real pleasure and prosperity of human beings through Islamically balanced, highly ethical, well-educated and well-behaved families and happy homes. Like in all the fields of human activity, Islam has laid down clearly and in detail the rights and duties of men and women, husbands and wives and also parents and children. The happy homes having pleasant environment, in which husband, wife, children and other relatives live together merrily with good mutual understanding, tolerance and respect as well as fulfilling their respective duties towards each other, is indeed an index of the highest status the Almighty Allah has blessed, among the creatures, to all human beings.


Unfortunately, the lack of appreciation about these aspects, particularly by husbands and wives, leads to many problems for themselves as well as for the children-the future generations. In advanced and western countries, with more and more progress, greater technological and scientific achievements and very fast and ultramodern way of life, the rate of divorces and separations is alarming.


Considering the importance of the subject, the IPO is taking the privilege of publishing this book (originally in Persian language) written by an eminent Islamic scholar, a noted author and a senior professor of Islamic Jurisprudence at Hawzah Ilmiyyah (Islamic Theological Centre), Qum, Iran, Hujjatul-Islam Ibrahim Amini. The author has taken great pains in conducting research and deep study on the subject of family ethics and husband-wife relationship. The first part deals with duties of women and the second part contains duties of men. Along with the duties, rights of husbands on wives and those of wives on husbands have also been described quoting relevant verses of the Holy Qur'an and Ahadith (traditions). It is hoped that the book would be found very useful for all and every home would treasure this to derive the maximum benefit for creating and maintaining the serene and pleasant environment, full of Allah's blessings.





The greatest desire of all young men and women who reach the age of puberty is to marry. Through the establishment of a joint marital life, they would earn more independence, as well as have a kind and trustworthy partner. They regard marriage as the beginning of their lives of prosperity.


Man has been created for woman and vice versa. They are attracted to each other like magnets. Marriage and establishing a joint life is a natural desire of human beings responding to their instincts. It is considered one of the greatest Divine blessings. In fact, where else could one find a better shelter for the youth than a sincere family unit? It is the desire of raising a family which preserves the youth from pursuing irrational dreams and internal anxieties. The marital union enables them to find a kind and faithful partner who could share the hard and difficult times. The sacred marital covenant is a Divine rope which links the hearts, calms them when they become unsettled, and focuses irrational dreams on one ideal goal. The house is the centre of love, kindness, and friendship, whereby it is the best place to relax and live comfortably. The Almighty Allah mentions this blessing in the Holy Quran:


"i4nd one of His si1ns is that He created mates for von


from yourselves that you may find rest in them and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people 'ho reflect (30:21)".


'The Prophet (SA) of Islam stated: 'A man who is not married, even though he may be wealthy is surely poor and needy: and the same is true for a woman.


"Imam Sمdiq (AS) asked a man: "Are you married?" The man replied "no". The Imam stated: 'I would not like to stay Llnmarried even for one night, even if I were to own the whole world'."2


"The Holy Prophet (SA) stated: 'There has not been created any institution in Islam which is more favoured and dearer to Allah than marriage'."3


Eventhough the Compassionate Allah has endowed human beings with such a precious blessing, they do not appreciate it and sometimes due to ignorance and selfishness, convert this warm and blessed union, into a dark prison or even a burning Hell! It is due to man's own ignorance that the members of the family have to live in this dark prison or that the sacred marital .covenant has to be destroyed.


If a couple is aware of their duties and acts accordingly, then a house would be a place of friendship and would resemble heaven. But. if there are family-differences and arguments. the family home, could truly change into a prison. Family differences are due to various reasons, such as economic factors, family background of the man and woman, living environment, unwanted interference by fathers, mothers and relatives, and tens of other reasons. But according to the author, the most important factor is the ignorance of husband and wife regarding their duties and unpreparedness for their marital life.Generally. in order to accomplish a task, expertise and readiness are necessary requirements. If one lacks the necessary knowledge and readiness, then one cannot successfully achieve his desired goal. Thus, training classes are formed to educate people for different tasks.


Expertise, readiness, and knowledge are also needed in marriage. A young man must Possess enough information about his Wife's principles of values and internal desires. I-fe must also be aware of marital problems and ways of soLving them. He should not regard marriage as merely buying goods, or hiring a maid, but to acknowledge it as a treaty of friendship, honesty, kindness, Partnership, and cooperation in a jOiflt family life.


A young woman should also be aware of her husband's Philosophy of life and wishes. She should not consider that marriage is like engaging a servant for fulfilling needs Without any terms and conditions; but as a pledge for Partnership and cooperation in making efforts for CQnducting the life. In order to obtain a successful Partnership, there is a need for understanding, cooperation and devotion.


Although the future of Young men and Women largely depends on a marriage which requires awareness of the importance of the concepts of marriage and preparation for undertaking such a task, our society unfortunately neglects the importance of these Conditions.


The parentspayapt deal of attention to such Points as dowzy, beauty, and personality. However they disregard the readiness for establishing a marital life as a necessary COndjtjo They marry their Sons and daughters off Without Providing adequate information about family life.


Consequently two Young and inexperifl people step into a new life and confront many Problems Differences argume5 and fights begin to develop. Their parents then interfere to help resolve the differences But, Since their lflterferences are mostly biased, the differences are exagger and the Situation becomes worse


The initial years of family life are eventful and critical. This is the period where many families can be torn between divorce and disintegratj0 Some of them continue their marriage and prefer this self-made prison to divorce and others learn more about each other and form a relatively comfortable life.


What a nice thing it could be had there been some means of educating and informing young men and women about the foundations and the establishment of marriage in the form of classes entitled "marriage preparation" which would prepare them for establishing their own families. I am hopeful of the day that such programme is established.


The present book is written on the basis of this necessity.


In resolving the issues of this book, I have relied upon the


Holy Qur'ftn, the traditions of the Holy Prophet (SA) and the


Infallible Imams (AS), as well as some general statistics, and


my personal experience.


Although certain guidelines for a better marriage have been presented. I do not claim that all family problems can be solved by reading this book. It is hoped that the book will provide better insight and awareness for those experiencingmarital and familiy problems. It is highly expected of those responsible persons who realize the importance of this matter, to take serious steps in order to help those who suffer from the agonies and sufferings of family deterioration and conflict. (Inshd 'AlIdh)


This book has been divided in two parts. The first part concerns the duties of women to their husbands and the second part covers the duties of men to their wives. But men and women are recommended to read both parts in order to get a better insight into the matter. By reading only one part of the book, the reader might feel a bias towards one side or the other; but by reading both the parts, one would admit that


this is not the case. tb.hbu Amid


Qum


1.
Was'll al- shWh .vol 14, p 3. July, 1975


2. ibid.


3. Ibid. p 23.






Marriage is a natural necessity for every hum bears many good outcomes of which the most imp are:


(1) The formation of a family through whi find security and peace of mind. A person who is n resembles a bird without a nest. Marriage serves for anyone who (eels lost in the wilderness of life; o a partner in life who would share one's joy and


(2) The natural sexual desire is both si significant. Everyone should have a partner for their sexual needs in a secure and serene em Everyone should enjoy sexual satisfaction in a c proper manner. Those who abstain from marr suffer from both physical and psychological disot disorders and certain social problems are conse4uence of the abstinence of youth from ma


(3) Reproduction: Through marriage the pro4 mankind is continued. Children are the result oi and are important factors in stablizing ti foundations as well as a source of real joy to the


A great deal of emphasis has been given in Qur'نn and the Traditions to both marriage an being. It ortant ones one can lot married as a shelter me can find sorrow.


trong and r satisfying vironment correct and riage often rders. Such a direct arriage.


creation of 'f marriage he family ir parents. ithe Holy nd having children. The Almighty Allah states in the Holy Qur'an:


"And among His signs is this, that He created for you


mates from among yourselves,... (30:2 1)".


"The Prophet (SA) stated: 'There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage'."'


"Imam 'Afl (AS) stated: 'Engage in marriage; because this is the tradition of the Prophet (SA) of Allah'."2


"The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'Whoever chooses to follow my tradilion must get married and produce offspring through marriage (and increase the population of Muslims) so that on the day of resurrection I shall confront other Ummahs (nations) with the (great) numbers of my Ummah'."3


"Imam Ridن (AS) stated: 'The greatest gain for a man is a faithful woman who, when she sees him, becomes happy and protects his property and her own honqur in his


, ,4


absence.


What has been dealt with so far in this chapter has been only the worldly and animalistic side of marriage which the animals also share: the benefits of companionship and reproduction. As such the true purpose of marriage for the human race is of a different kind. Mankind is not meant to have entered this world solely in order to eat, drink, sleep, seek pleasure or act lustfully, and then to die and be destroyed. The status of man is higher than such deeds. Human beings are meant to train themselves and their souls by gaining knowledge, committing good deeds, and behaving with good manners. Man is meant to take steps along the straight path to achieve nearness to Almighty Allah. Mankind is a creation that is able to cleanse his soul and by avoiding evil deeds and exercising good behaviour reach a level of such high status that even the angels are not able to attain. Man is a creature that is eternal. He has come to this world so that by the guidance of the prophets and the implementation of the programmes set by the religion (of Islam), to secure his happiness in this world and the Hereafter; so that he could live a peaceful life in the next world eternally.


Therefore, the purpose of marriage should be searched for in this spiritual context. The aim of marriage for a religious person should be a means of avoiding evil deeds and purging one's soul of sins. It should be a means of acquiring nearness to the Almighty Allah. It is in this context that a suitable and good partner assumes an important role.


When two believers, through marriage, form a family, their sexual relationship would benefit them in strengthening their mutual love and kindness, for such a couple, there would not exist any dangerous threats of sexual perversion, dangerous addictions or unlawful deeds. The Prophet (SA) of Islam and all of the Imams (AS) have laid great emphasis on the institution of marriage.


"The Prophet (SA) stated: 'Whoever gets married, has safeguarded half of his religion'."5


"Imam Sadiq (AS) stated: 'Two Rak'ats (units) of a married person's SalJt (prayer) are better than seventy Ru/Cats offered by a bachelor'."6


A faithful, pious, and harmonious partner plays a crucial role in having a respectable and honest life. Indeed having such a partner is an important factor when wanting to avoid evil deeds and enables the commitment of oneself in performing the obligatory acts of worship. A pious couple, not only would not meet with any obstacle in achieving religious goals, but would be a source of encouragement to each other.


Is it really possible for a faithful man of Allah to gloriously fight in His way, without the approval of his wife? Is it possible for any pious person to earn his living lawfully, observing all religious aspects, paying statutary religious alms to avoid extravagance, and to spend on charitable deeds without the consent of his wife?


A pious person would always invite his partner to goodness, just as a corrupt person would tempt his partner towards corruption. It is then reasonable that, in Islam men and women, who want to get married, are advised to regard the piety and good manners of their future partners, as essential conditions.


"The Prophet (SA) stated: 'If I were to bestow all the good of both worlds upon a Muslim person, I would endow himwith a humble heart, a tongue which continuosuly utters his praises, a body patient enough to withstand all calamities; and I would give him a pious spouse who, when she sees him, becomes happy,and protects his preperty and her own honour in his absence'."7


"One person went to the Prophet (SA) and said: 'I have a wife who always welcomes me when I come home, and escorts me to the door when I leave. When she finds me sad and unhappy, she then, by consoling me says: 'If you are thinking of sustenance, then do not despair, because Allah provides sustenance; and if you are thinking about the next life, then may Allah increase your intellect and efforts. Then the Prophet (SA) stated: 'Allah surely has functionaries and agents in this world and your wife is one of those. Such a woman would be rewarded half as much as a martyr'."8


"Imمm 'All (AS) was thinking the same when he spoke of Hadrat Zahrن (AS). He stated that she was the best help for worshipping the Almighty Allah. History tells us that the Prophet (SA), one day after the wedding of Imنm 'All (AS) and Hadrat Zahrن (AS), went to congratulatue them in their house and know about their welfare. He asked Imنm 'All (AS): 'How do you find your spouse?' The Imنm replied: 'I found Zahra as the best help in worshipping the Almighty Allah.' The Prophet (SA) then asked the same of Zahra (AS), and she replied: 'He is the best husband'."9


Imنm 'All (AS), in one sentence, introduced the best woman in Islam and expressed the main purpose of marriage.




The task of a wife is to maintain and take care of a husband. It is not an easy undertaking. Those women who are unaware of this feature of their role, may find difficulty in fulfilling the task. It is a job for the woman who is aware that the job requires a degree of sagacity, style, and ingenuity. For a woman to be a successful wife, she should win over her husband's heart and be a source of comfort to him. She should encourage hito do good deeds while dissuading him from bad ones. She should also provide adequate measures to maintain his heaeth and well-being. The results of her efforts are directed towards making the man into a kind and respected husband who would be a proper guardian for his family, and a good father from whom the children would seek guidance and respect. Allah. the All-Knowing has endowed woman with extraordinary power. The prosperity and happiness as well as the misery of the family are in her hands.


A woman can turn the home into a lofty paradise or a burning hell. She can lead her husband to the peak of success or the dregs of misfortune. The woman with the qualities bestowed on her by Allah, who is aware of her role as a spouse, can elevate her husband to a respected man even if he had been the lowest of all men.


"One learned scholar wrote: 'Women possess a strange power in that they are able to acquire whatever they desire'."'0


In Islam, taking care of one's husband has an important position. It has been equated to the role of Jihdd (holy war in the path of Allah). "Imمm 'All (AS) stated: 'The Jihمd of a woman is to take care of her husband well'." Considering that Jihdd is the struggle and holy war in the path of Allah including the struggle for advancement and honour of Islam, defending the Islamic territories and execution of social justice, it is one of the highest acts of worship. The value of fulfilling the duties of a proper spouse is also reflected upon when considering Jihdd.


"The Prophet (SA) of Islam stated: 'Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, enters Paradise'."'2


The Holy Prophet also stated: "If a woman does not perform her duty as a spouse, she has not done her duty to Allah."'3





Everyone is thirsty for friendship and kindness. They all like to be loved by others.


The heart of a human being thrives on it. A person who is not loved by anyone regards himself as alone and deserted. Dear lady! Your husband is not any different. He is also in need of love and affection. Before his marriage the love and affection of his parents fulfilled this need, but now, he expects you to fulfil it. The man looks towards his spouse to find friendship and love, which is a requirement of all human beings. He struggles hard to earn a living and to comfort you. He shares with you all the hardships of life and as your true partner cares for your happiness even more than your parents. Therefore, express your appreciation to him and love him, he will love you. Love is a two-way relationship which unites the hearts.


A twenty-year old boy who had come to Tehran to study at the university, fell in love with a 39-year old widow who was his landlady.'4 This was because the woman had fulfilled the empty place of his mother in his heart through her kindness.


If love is mutual, the marital foundation becomes strong and the dangers of separation are averted. Do not proudly think that your husband fell in love with you at first sight, becuase such love is not lasting. A lasting love is through kindness and permanent affection in the form of a very close friendship.


If you love your husband and have a good friendship he will be happy and willing to strive and sacrifice himself for your well-being. A man who enjoys the love of his wife, rarely suffers from poor health or has emotional problems. If a man is deprived of a warm and friendly relationship with his spouse, he may become disheartened and may avoid his home. He may end up spending a great deal of time out of his home in search of friends and attention. He may say to himself: "Why should I work and support the people who do not like me. I might as well enjoy myself and try to find genuine friends."


A woman may sincerely love her husband, but does not show it or express it very often. It is not enough to establish the ties of friendship and take it for granted. Occasional expressions of statements such a "I love you," "I missed you," "I am happy to see you," help enormously in promoting a good relationship. When the husband is on a trip, the woman should write letters expressing that she missed him. If there is a telephone at the man's office, the wife should phone him occasionally, but not in excess. She should praise him among friends and relatives when he is absent, and defend him if anyone is talking against him.


The Almighty Allah refers to this bond of love and affection of a husband and wife in the Qur'an:


"And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion: most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect (30:2 1)."


'Imمm RidA (AS) stated: 'Some women are blessings for their husbands who express their love and affecton'."'5


"The Holy Prophet (SA) stated: 'The best of you among women are those who possess love and affection'."'6


"Imm Sadiq (AS) stated: 'When you love someone, let the person know'."'7







The desire for respect is an inherent one, but not everyone is willing to give it readily. Your husband is in contact with many people during the day while away from home. Some may be impolite and insulting him which eventually can upset the person. As his wife, he expects you to show respect and encouragement at home and thereby boost his trampled ego.


To honour and respect your husband does not belittle you, but it provides energy and inclination to struggle to make a better life. You should always greet him, and with your greeting, give him a feeling of veneration. Do not interrupt him when he is talking. Be courteous and polite when you are talking to him and do not shout at him. Let him enter first when both of you are going to a meeting. Praise him in front of others. Ask your children to respect him and reprimand them if they are discourteous towards him. Be respectful of him in front of guests and be attentive to his needs, as well as the guests.


When he is knocking ar the door you should try to open the door with a smile and a happy expression. This small act of happiness has such an effect that it refreshes the man's tired spirits. Some women may think that such behaviour is strange. Imagine greeting your husband as if he was a guest. This is not the correct attitude because the man has been struggling all the day for the well-being of his family and he deserves some consideration and respect when he returns home. That first greeting makes a big impression and what's good for a guest is good for the family members.


"The Holy Prophet (SA) stated: 'The duty of a woman is to answer the call at the door and welcome her husband'."'


"Imمm Sمdiq (AS) stated: 'A woman who respects her husband and does not harrass him, will be fortunate and prosperous'."'9


"The Holy Prophet (SA) stated: 'A wife is duty-bound to arrange for a basin and towel to wash her husband's hands'."20


Be careful not to humiliate him, do not talk to him narshly, do not abuse him, do not be inattentive to him, and do not call him by any obscene titles. If you offend him, he, in turn, will insult you. Eventually, the spirit of love and trust will erode. Consequently, you will have constant quarrels and arguments which may lead to a divorce. Even if you continue to live together, your lives will surely be filled with many turbulent moments. Feelings of antagonism and psychological disturbances may build up to the point that it becomes hazardous to the couple's life in that it may lead to crime. The following stories, illustrate some of these points:


"A twenty-two year old man, stabbed his 19-year old wife to death after he was abused by her. In the court he said:


'I was married to this woman a year ago. At the beginning my wife loved me very much. But it was not long before she changed and started to humiliate me. She would use abusive language with me on every possible occasion and over the smallest issue, would make fun of me. Due to a squint in my left eye, she used to call me a "blind ass". One day she called me a "blind ass" and I became so furious that I stabbed her fifteen times with a knife'."2'


"A seventy-one year old man who had killed his wife, explained: 'her manners towards me changed and she started to ignore me. Once she called me "an intolerable man".I realized that she did not love me any more; I became suspicious of her and killed her with two blows of an axe'."22




There is not anyone who does not have problems and grievances with regard to daily life. Everyone likes to have a sympathetic person with whom he can confide and who will listen to his problems. But the point to remember is that "there is a time and place for everything". One should realize the proper time and occasion to complain. Some ignorant and selfish women do not relaize that their husbands are very tired and nervous after a long day's work. Instead of waiting an hour or two for him to regain his spirits, they start attacking him with a barrage of complaints. For instance the wife may say:


"You have left me with these damned kids and rushed off. Ahmad has broken the glass in the door of the front room. Our daughters have been fighting. I am going crazy with the noise of the kids outside. Hasan does not study at all and he has secured poor marks. I have been working so hard today and I am exhausted. Nobody listens to my cries!


These kids don't help at all in the house-work. I wish I didn't have any children at all! By the way your sister was here today. I don't know what was wrong with her; she acted as if I had swallowed her father's inheritance.


May God save me from your mother! She has been talking ill about me behind my back. I am fed up with all of them. Also, I cut my finger badly with a knife today.


I wish I'd not gone to Muhammad's wedding yesterday. You should have seen Rashid's wife! What an outfit! Allah should give me the same luck! Some men really love their wives and buy them beautiful things. They are real husbands. When Rashid entered, everybody respected him. It's true that people are only interested in what you're wearing. What has she got that I haven't? Why should she show off in front of me?! Oh yes, she is fortunate to have a husband who loves her, he isn't like you!


I can't stand this damned house any longer, looking after your and your children. So do what you like!"


This sort of attitude is incorrect. Women of this sort think that their husbands are going on a picnic or pleasure-ride every morning. Men confront hundreds of problems everyday. Dear lady! you do not know what your husband has gone through when he is at work. You do not know what rude and obnoxious people he has had to deal with all the day. So, when he comes home, you should not present all of your complaints at the same time. He should not feel guilty of being a man. Be fair and be considerate to him. If you, by grumbling and nagging, add to his worries and anguish, then he may either start a row or just leave the house and go to a cafe, cinema, or even walk around the streets.


Therefore, dear lady! for the sake of Allah, give up this habit of complaining at inopportune moments. Find a suitable time and then present him with your genuine problems, not by complaining, but in a consultative type of way. In this way, you do not create antagonistic feelings in him and the family bonds remain secure.


"The Prophet (SA) of Islam stated: 'The prayers of a woman who teases her husband with her tongue, are not accepted (by Allah) even though she fasts everyday, gets up for the acts of worship every night, sets free a few s I a V CS and donates her wealth in the way of Allah. A bad-tongue woman who hurts her husband in this way, is the first person who enters hell'."23


"The Holy Prophet (SA) also stated: 'The women of Paradise say to those women who abuse their husbands in this way: 'May Allah kill you. Do not misbehave with your husband. This man (the husband) is not yours, and you do not deserve him. Soon he will leave you and come towards us'. "24


I do not know what such women want to achieve by their grumbling. If they want to attract their husband's attention or to show off, then surely they achieve the exact opposite and exasperate him. If they intend to distress him, to create for him phychological problems and to lead him towards fatal artificial addictions, then they are on the right track:


Dear lady! if you care about your husband and your family, then you should give up this improper and illogical attitude. Have you ever thought that your misconduct may lead towards breaking up your family life?


"One doctor testified in court: 'I have not yet seen my wife act like a proper housewife during all my married life. Our house is always in a mess. She is always shouting and abusing. I am fed up with her'. After paying her a lumpsum money, he received divorce. He said joyfully: 'If she had wanted and had asked for all my wealth and even my medical degree, I would have given it to get rid of her sooner'."25



Anyone who is good-natured with a pleasant disposition would also face the hardships and problems of life in the same manner. These are the kinds of personality that people are attracted to and continually seek. The pleasant disposition and attitude of a person would be immune to psychological disorders since their outlook to life is to overcome their hardships in the best feasible manner.


"Imمm Sنdiq (AS) stated: 'No life is more agreeable than the one which is of a pleasant nature'."26


But an ill-natured person would likewise find life unpleasant since the relationship of such people promote anxiety and tension. Such a person enjoys complaining and voicing one's dissonance with life. This type of attitude is avoided by most people whereby the person ends up with very few friends. These are then the conditions which are susceptible to various psychological problems, and other illnesses due to the anxiety and emptiness with which the person with a bad attitude views life.


"The Holy Prophet (SA) stated: 'A person with a bad disposition and attitude would be in permanent agony and suffering'."21


A good and pleasant attitude is essential between all people in general and between couples in particular since the couple must be together to form a joint life.


Dear lady! if you want to enjoy a pleasant life with your husband and children, make your attitude and disposition pleasant and agreeable. Be good-natured and not quarrelsome. You have the ability to turn your house into a lofty paradise or a burning hell. You can be an angel of mercy whereby your husband and children can find peace through you. Do you know what a beautiful impression you would leave on their souls with your smiling attitude and good language. The pleasant impression is fresh in their minds as they start off to school or work and helps them to make a good start of the day.


Therefore, if you care about the quality of your life and the relationship you have with your husband, do not be negative in nature. Be positive in your attitude and disposition since the best supportive pillar of security to marriage is a good set of ethics leading to a pleasant disposition.


Most instances of divorce are due to the incompatible nature of man and wife. The statistics on divorce conclusively indicate that the compatible attitude, moral values and disposition was non-existent in the couples. The main source of family rows and discord is due to the incompatible character of the couple's ethical principles and values. The following set of data is of interest:


"In the year 1968, 12,760 cases out of a total of 16,039 cases of marital complaints brought to court were based on incompatible moral foundations. In 1969, 11,246 cases out of a total of 16,058 cases, were based on the same reason. It is therefore evident that more than seventy per cent of family rows were due to this factor'. "28


"A woman complained to the Council that her husband always ate his lunch and dinner outside. The husband then explained that the reason he ate outside was because his wife had absolutely no constructiveness in her and she was the worst of all the ill-disposed women in the world.


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