Marriage Life, Based on Affection
“And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Ar-Rum: 21)
All of us are after tranquility and peace in life. We all want someone with whom to live happily. The most natural form of family is the one that is not torn apart except by death of one of the partners. All the reformists throughout history, especially the Prophets sent by God, have tried to help strengthen the institution of family to become everlasting, so that nothing could take away its happiness.
Anyway, there are specific rules for a successful marriage and family life. Marriage life is like a small sapling that needs to be taken care of all the time. Young couples need to learn how to take care of it. Some of these points are discussed below.
Pride? Never!
Forget about pride for good. Why are people so arrogant? Why do they think they are special people?
Some people act arrogantly for having lots of wealth. But the truth is that one’s honor depends on his knowledge and religious belief. One who has pride but does not have knowledge is like a wild tiger. Human beings, as the best creatures of God, need to learn to be humble in life. Even the great people of history have always been so humble that it is almost impossible for us to believe.
Prophet Muhammad was the greatest man in the human history. He even ascended to the celestial world, but he used to play humbly with children.
Prophet Muhammad said, “Arrogance ruins seventy years of worship.”
People are never admired for being proud. One should be a kind and loyal spouse so that other family members feel joyous and peaceful when they are with him or her.
To Express One’s Affection
A couple should not act indifferently towards each other, for example when your husband buys you a gift, he has probably imagined that he would give you the gift and say that he has bought it for you, as he could not stop thinking about you.
But when he actually gives you the gift, if without even looking at it, you ask him to put it somewhere, then all his dreams are ruined and that he won’t do the same thing again.
If this happens, the marriage life will get cold. One should answer affection with affection.
Be careful with the Camera!
You must be careful about everything you do at home; because the children record every movement just like a camera.
Prophet Muhammad said, “Children mirror your behaviors.”
That is indeed true. People save everything in their memories and they will act the same as us later.
Watch Your Tongue If You Want to Be Loved
If you want others to love you, you should be careful about what you say.
According to Luqman, “The best and the worst of all things is one’s tongue.”
That is because you could use your tongue both for saying the most beautiful and the most hateful words. The
Qur’an has also warned against how the small tongue could destroy a big life.
When your spouse comes home, you could welcome him with beautiful words, or hurt him with your bitter words.
Prophet Muhammad said, “God bless the person who uses his tongue in a right way; and keeping quiet is a way to keep one healthy.”
He also said about men, “A man’s greatness is in his silence.”
One could be happy or miserable depending on how he uses his tongue. Not only saying bad words creates problems for ourselves, but we indirectly teach these words to our children too. Tongue is a great tool both to attract people and to send them away. We should try to use this gift we have been given to, in the best way and with the aim of making an atmosphere of peace and love at home.
Honesty, as the Most Important Thing
Martyr Beheshti said, “I would rather the bitterness of honesty than the sweetness of lie.”
People should be honest in their life. It makes no sense if a couple is happy on the surface and they hate each other inwardly. Most of the problems begin from this very point. A husband and a wife should not hide anything from each other ever, because the truth will be revealed some day and there will be severe consequences, such as:
1.They cannot trust each other anymore.
2. They will hate each other.
3. The foundations of the marriage life become weak.
4. They won’t believe each other even if they are telling the truth.
5. Others will get to know about their private life.
6. They are always afraid of being embarrassed.
7. They have to tell bigger lies to hide one problem.
Prophet Muhammad said in this regard, “The worst among people is the one who has two faces. And the one who speaks with two tongues in this world, will be punished by God with two blazing tongues in the world after.”
Translated by: Sadroddin Musawi
